Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
