i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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