I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
