I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
