Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
