Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
