once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
