Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
