We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
