Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
