He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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