Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
