I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
