After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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