If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
His nipple licking is glorious
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