Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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