Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I need moral support for this bender
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
