Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
