Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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