I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize