with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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