someone get that fucking seahorse.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
