Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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