I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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