adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My dad is sitting where you rode me
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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