How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
