I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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