Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
