Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
