Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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