so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
