i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
