when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
