ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
