look no pants
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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