Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
