All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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