uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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