what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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