guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
