we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
