: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
