i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
