i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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