there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
