You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
