My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
