just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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