Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
