we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
