Please, let me fuck your mom
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
