screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
