Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
