i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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