you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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